Annie's Mailbox® by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Two weeks ago, on the spur of the moment, I went to Las Vegas and married my boyfriend. I can't tell you how much I regret it. I'm not sure whether it's because I've only known him a month or because the wedding ring looks like gold dice.

I am in my 30s and ready to settle down again (this was my third wedding), but even I believe this was too impulsive. My new husband is really committed, but I don't think I can do this. How can I let him down easy and make him understand it was a mistake? — What Happens in Vegas Should Stay in Vegas

Dear Vegas: You entered this union in haste, but please take the time to see if there is something worth saving. This guy is willing to stick by you and deserves that much consideration. You might discover that one secret to lasting relationships is the willingness to work through problems when things get tough. If you decide, however, that the marriage cannot possibly be successful, you should be able to get an annulment, telling your husband that you both deserve an opportunity to get to know each other better before making this kind of commitment.

Dear Annie: I have a close friend who "forgets" to pay for the items in the bottom of her grocery cart and allows her infant son to play with toys in the store and then walks out as if they belong to him. I have warned "Nicole" about this practice, but so far, she has not been caught. To add to that, Nicole and her husband intend to file for bankruptcy, so they are maxing out their credit cards on jewelry, sporting events, restaurants, etc., because they know they won't have to repay the debt.

I'm not sure why I am so upset. Am I jealous because Nicole gets these expensive items for "free" and I am going through difficult times right now? I have taken a second job to help make ends meet, while Nicole continues to steal from stores, driving up the prices for all of us.

Dear Indiana: Nicole is a cheat and a thief, and that is reason enough to be upset with her. We'd cross her off our friend list because she is not a person of integrity. As for the pre-bankruptcy profligacy, federal law denies the benefits of bankruptcy to anyone who is shown to have gone on a credit card spending spree during the 90 days leading up to a bankruptcy filing. Credit card companies are on the lookout for just this type of situation. Even if the credit card companies don't take legal action against her, it is likely that Nicole will still have to pay a portion of those charges from future earnings. She's not as clever as she thinks.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Total Loss," whose son dropped out of college, played video games all day and gave up on everything he loved.

My son was very successful in high school, active in the church youth group and was an Eagle Scout. When he went to college, he could not get it together. He missed classes and spent days in his dorm room. When he came home he was violent. Our doctor diagnosed him with "situational depression." Two universities and another year later, he was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder through the wonderful university counseling center. He just graduated with honors and has applied for graduate school. He has grown into everything I expected he could be. Tell that family to never give up. — Proud Mother

Dear Proud: Your son is lucky to have loving parents who obviously encouraged him to get the help he so desperately needed. And congratulations to him for having the courage and strength to seek assistance.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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