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ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R)
Dear Annie: My husband's sister refuses to cancel her plans even if her children are sick — which happens all the time. She will drop the kids off at my mother-in-law's and, as she's leaving, say, "Oh, by the way, 'Suzy' has a cold.…
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ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R)
Dear Annie: I was close to "Bob" in college. Four years ago, when he married "Sue," whom I vaguely knew, I was the only one of his friends to attend her bachelorette party. A few years after their wedding, I flew across the …Read more.
ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R)
Dear Annie: I am an addict in recovery. I moved out of state three years ago when I was seeking treatment and completed my program 15 months ago. I have successfully maintained employment for more than a year now.
My three children are still living …Read more.
ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R)
Dear Annie: Our next-door neighbors have a wood stove that is their primary heating system. My family is the victim of their invasive smoke. We have put plastic around our windows, but the smoke still enters our house through the vents, electrical …Read more.
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Annie's Mailbox®, May 18Dear Annie: I have a 17-year-old son. Until three months ago, he was the best son a mother could ask for. He's captain of the varsity baseball and golf teams, band officer, top 10 in his class, you name it. He gave his father and me no problems until recently, when he began dating "Holly." Now everything has gone out the window. Our son's curfew is 9:00 pm on school nights and 1:00 a.m. on weekends. The problem is, Holly has no set time when she needs to be home. She can be out all night and nobody cares. Our son feels since she has no curfew, neither should he. Holly is his first girlfriend, and we understand he is head over heels for this girl. My question is, do I have the right to contact her parents to find out why it's OK for their daughter to be out 24/7? Can I ask them to keep her at home more? When I was growing up, my parents had time limits for how long I could be out with my boyfriend and I followed the rules. I thought that was what every respectful young lady did. We have gone from being best friends with our son to being his No. 1 enemy. Please help me understand. — Heartbroken Mom in El Paso, Texas Dear El Paso: Stick to your guns, Mom. It is not your job to be best friends with your son. It is your job to guide and protect him, and teach him to become an independent, responsible adult. Sometimes that will put you at odds and it's OK. You might consider raising his weekday curfew by one hour as long as it doesn't affect his school performance, but giving him unlimited freedom is actually likely to create some insecurities. We feel sorry for Holly, whose parents give the impression they don't care about their daughter. Instead of calling them, befriend her. You can then model what a caring family should be while becoming a more influential part of your son's teenage life. Win-win. Dear Annie: I have an old college buddy of 30 years. As the weather warms up and there are more casual get-togethers, how do I tell him it's a two-way street without coming off as condescending? — One-Way Road Dear One-Way: It could be that he doesn't feel comfortable with your spouse or thinks the casual drop-in attitude you had when you were single is no longer appropriate. Since you still consider him a good friend, the best policy here is honesty. Tell him you are disappointed he hasn't stopped by and ask if anything is wrong. Then invite him for a very specific time and date and see what happens. Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Gagging Patient," whose orthodontist had bad breath. When my daughter was 13, she had a similar problem with one of her teachers. She liked this teacher, but was uncomfortable being honest. She got together with two other students and typed an anonymous letter to the teacher telling her how much they admired and respected her. Then, as gently as possible, they mentioned the breath. The teacher took care of the problem and never mentioned the letter, and the girls never told any other classmates what they had done. I was impressed that these 13-year-olds came up with a compassionate solution that caused little embarrassment to anyone. — Proud Mom Dear Mom: Although we are not fans of anonymous letters, in this case it was for the best, as it was done with kindness and protected the students as well as the teacher. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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