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Annie's Mailbox®, May 2

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Dear Annie: My husband and I have a good friend, "Steve," who is a manager at a company where my husband used to work. My husband is still pretty close to a lot of the people there.

Steve has access to the property 24/7 and has been stealing cash from the company. There is absolutely no accountability in his position and plenty of ways to cover his tracks so no one will be the wiser.

My question is, should we tell the general manager what we know or just look away? It kills me that Steve is taking money and who knows what else and getting away with it, especially since he is in a management position and should know better. If we inform the GM, should we do it anonymously by letter and let him check it out, or should we tell him in person? — Know Too Much

Dear Know: Are you 100 percent certain Steve is stealing? If so, the GM should be informed. If you are willing to risk your friendship with Steve in order to talk directly with the GM, by all means, do so. Otherwise, an anonymous letter, e-mail or phone call will alert him to the problem. After that, it's up to him.

Dear Annie: Tobacco use is the No. 1 cause of preventable death in America, yet tobacco products are exempt from basic health regulations that apply to other products we consume, such as food and drugs.

As a teen and especially as a girl, I am continuously targeted by the tobacco companies. In the past two years, the industry has launched an aggressive marketing campaign to depict cigarette smoking as feminine and fashionable, rather than the harmful and deadly addiction it is. Cigarettes are now packed to look like perfume and as things called "purse packs." Considering lung cancer is the leading cancer killer of women, these cigarettes are putting the health of girls like my friends and me at risk.

I have never been one to just sit around and complain, so I joined the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids as a youth advocate leading the fight to reduce tobacco use and its devastating consequences.

The campaign is working to change public attitudes and policies on tobacco, prevent kids from smoking, and help young smokers to quit.

Your readers can get involved by visiting tobaccofreekids.org and learning more about FDA legislation that would regulate the manufacturing, marketing and sale of tobacco products. They can also learn about how they can raise awareness about tobacco-related disease prevention. Thanks for your help spreading the word. It's time to show tobacco companies they can't target women and kids anymore. — Auriel Rolle-Polk, age 17, Tallahassee, Fla.

Dear Auriel: We appreciate your wise words and the helpful information. It's a great website and we hope our young readers will take a look.

Dear Annie: You weren't tough enough with "Concerned Mother," who worried about whether her husband's persistent verbal and physical abuse of their 5-year-old son would have any effect on his self-esteem.

With an abusive father and a clueless mother, this poor boy is lucky if he doesn't spend the rest of his life on a therapist's couch. The father is re-enacting his own miserable childhood, and even if she could get him to a therapist, it won't change him enough to undo the damage already done. If that mother wants mentally healthy children, she should start packing all their bags now. — Been There

Dear Been There: Nothing can undo what's been done, but if Dad can learn to change his behavior (and it's possible), a healthy, intact family would be the best outcome.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

6 Comments | Post Comment
my question is for card carrying donor in Evanston

I am a motorcycle rider and i do not choose to wear a helmet,My Aunt and Uncle were on there honda goldwing and they both had there helmets on with there full gear,a car hit them and killed them right away,but we were told if they didnt have there helments on they would have lived but instead they choose to wear there helments and it cut there heads off, so you see there are alot of pros and cons on helmets,what makes it any different when driving a car,yes you have seatbelts and airbags,but that doesnt always work either, i have seen people get into a motorcycle accident and have had there helmet on and they died because the helmet heald all the injuries in the helmet,and to just let you know i am a organ donor




biker rider in Illinois
Comment: #1
Posted by: DODI HOLLAWAY
Fri May 1, 2009 11:37 PM
Re: DODI HOLLAWAY ----- I agree that every situation is different. I have no way of knowing for sure, but I suspect that laws for motor vehicle (including motorcycles) are based on statistical information that has been gathered. If anyone reading this has more specific information, please let us know. When seat belts first came out, they were optional equipment. Around the time they were becoming required in some states, my cousin was driving a convertible and was in a bad accident. I can't recall all the details all these years later, but he was thrown out of the car since he was not wearing a seat belt and the car flipped over several times. He suffered a broken jaw and concussion. The authorities said that if he'd been wearing a seat belt, he'd have been killed because the car was so badly damaged (rather flattened by their account). From that experience, my mom refused to wear a seat belt until NYS made them mandatory. Yet most people nowadays wouldn't think of not wearing a seat belt because they do save lives in more situations than they cause deaths. I met a young man who had been in a motorcycle accident. He had not been wearing a helmet and as a result he has permanent brain damage. He is unable to work and has unstable moods. Yet this young man used to be smart, vibrant, athletic, and had held a good job. Now he lives in an assisted living group home. I also saw a motorcycle accident in front of my home. The driver ended up being thrown over the handlebars, hit his head and his body skidded for several feet along the road surface. He was able to get up and walk. I doubt that would have happened if he hadn't been wearing a helmet. I don't know what the statistics for injuries with and with helmets are. I don't ride motorcycles; so I've never done the research. Mostly I'm very careful to keep a distance between my car and any motorcycles in front of me and I try to be very aware of any behind me or to my side. They make me more nervous than other vehicles because I've seen motorcycle drivers do things such as drive between lanes of cars and cut in too closely when passing cars. Therefore, I try to be very aware of where they are on the road.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Pat
Sat May 2, 2009 8:59 AM
If I had a friend who I knew was stealing, this person would no longer be anyone I would do anything social with. I might pray for him but not want to see him again until he came clean and made restitution. I am not sure what I would do about telling on him. But, I would tell him to his face why I was dropping him. This is a sign of bad character.
Comment: #3
Posted by: BB
Sat May 2, 2009 12:53 PM
I really don't want to hear another word about how evil tobacco advertising is supposed to be, or how certain groups are "targeted" by it. I'm also inclined to wonder what the banning of tobacco ads on radio and TV has proven, except that the industry can save money and still sell their products. Don't get me wrong - I hate smoking. The health effects, the smell, etc. It's a disgusting habit. That having been said, we all have the power to make choices in our lives - to smoke or not to smoke. Likewise, tobacco is a legal product, and until that changes, the companies that grow and sell it have the right to manufacture, advertise, and otherwise market their products. I know it isn't popular to point that out these days, but those are the facts. I'm really bothered by how my home state of California has a public-awareness (if you can call it that) campaign being funded by the California Dept of Health Services. Its TV and print ads depict a large, evil-looking alligator with the words "Big Tobacco" written on it. The caption often is, "Tobacco is legal, profitable, and kills people," with the gator adding, "Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad." This is despicable. It's tantamount to accusing them of murder, by an industry who markets legal products to consenting adults. What's the funniest thing of all? We have this huge anti-tobacco push going on in our society even as there is also a big push to allow people to legally and recreationally smoke cannabis.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Matt
Sat May 2, 2009 3:19 PM
Re: DODI HOLLAWAY. First of all, learn proper grammar and sentence structure. Second, the states have imposed helmet laws because the public has been forced to pick up the tab for treating people who sustain head injuries in motorcycle accidents. If the state where you live refused to treat these people at public expense, there would be no need for helmet laws.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Matt
Sat May 2, 2009 3:21 PM
Regarding "Concerned Mother" -- IF the father can change his behavior, that'd be great. But his attempts (if any) to change SHOULD NO LONGER be on his family's watch. They need to leave, NOW, and let HIM do whatever changing he needs to do on his OWN time.
Comment: #6
Posted by: deb
Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:52 AM
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