Smart Trumps Honorable When Leaving an Abusive Man Dear Annie: I've been in an abusive marriage for nearly 15 years, and I can't take another day. My husband has never hit me. It's all mental and emotional abuse. He calls me horrible names in front of our children. He has constant tantrums where he …Read more. Explore Screening Options During Depression Awareness Month Dear Annie: Looking at me now, you would never think I struggled with mental illness. I am a second-year graduate student studying counseling psychology, and I spend my free time as a competitive equestrian, teaching therapeutic riding, practicing …Read more. Age and Ignorance Don't Trump Responsibility Dear Annie: I beg you to tell adult children not to massage their curiosity and egos by milking the accursed Internet to chase down the other end of their parents' ancient love affairs. I recently got a 75-year-old memory bomb — a phone call …Read more. Lashing Out in Grief Dear Annie: I am a 66-year-old male. Six months ago, I lost my life partner, my love of 33 years. I was at "Michael's" hospice bedside 24 hours a day. I always thought I had a good relationship with my partner's family, especially his sister, "…Read more.more articles
Annie's Mailbox®, March 20
Dear Annie: I am a 22-year-old single woman and was in an exclusive relationship with "Matt" for six months. We always used protection whenever we were intimate. Last December, he suddenly stopped seeing me and wouldn't return my calls.
I dealt with the breakup as best I could. However, at my recent annual doctor's visit, I was shocked to learn I had an STD. How could this be? Matt and I always used condoms, and I wasn't with anyone else before and haven't been since.
Please explain how this could have happened. — Devastated on Staten Island, New York
Dear New York: While condoms are very effective, they are not foolproof and on rare occasion have been known to break and leak. Also, STDs can be transmitted through oral sex, and some can be spread through any contact with an infected area.
The important thing is that you be treated promptly. For more information, contact the American Social Health Association (ashastd.org) at 1-800-227-8922.
Dear Annie: Last August, I gave birth to my daughter, Anna. I found out during my seventh month of pregnancy that Anna had a severe brain disorder and, at best, would be severely handicapped. I carried to term, but sadly, Anna died two days after she was born.
I occasionally mention to people that I had a daughter, and when they find out the details it's almost as if they write it off because she only lived for two days — as if that makes her life less meaningful. My own family has ignored her existence. My sister commented over Christmas that she had forgotten I'd had a daughter.
I don't know how to respond to these people. My daughter was important to me. Is it wrong to want her to be important to other people, as well? — Denise in Rochester, N.Y.
Dear Denise: It's not wrong, but you are expecting too much to think others must care as much as you do.
If you have not had some type of memorial service, please consider it. And we also recommend you contact SHARE Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support (nationalshareoffice.com) at 1-800-821-6819. Our deepest condolences.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Dad's Crazy," whose newly divorced father plans to let a young woman move in with him.
Her 52-year-old father is now single and his children are grown. While newly divorced women might take time before dating again, men who become single need to feel we can still attract a woman. We tend to rush into intimate relationships much sooner. We can also enjoy this time without the guilt factor of thinking we are cheating.
I hope she won't be too hard on her dad. He still loves her and his grandson, but has to deal with his divorce in his own way, which will most definitely be different from that of her mom. This young woman may be the best thing that's happened to Dad in a long time, even if she isn't in it for the long haul. And I hope "Dad's Crazy" will let her father know she still loves him, whether or not she agrees with all his new choices. — A Man's Point of View
Dear Man: Thanks to all our male readers who wrote to share a man's perspective. We, too, hope his daughter can be forgiving.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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