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Annie's Mailbox®, March 5

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Dear Annie: I just moved to a very nice community five months ago. The people are so friendly, warm and helpful. My house is located not far from the ocean on a very secluded cul-de-sac. I have a 12-month lease and pay rent monthly.

It has come to my notice in recent weeks that my landlord is exceptionally nosy. I see him around on a regular basis, not doing anything but driving around in circles, especially in the late evenings.

One evening, I was taking out my trash and noticed him leering into the window of the young couple that lives down the block. This is simply wrong, not to mention a total invasion of their privacy. Should I report him to the police? Should I say something to him directly? Or should I just mind my own business?

So far I have caught him doing this four times. He's sort of creepy. — Elderly Lady in Her 70s

Dear Lady: There's no way to know if your landlord suspects the couple of doing something illegal or if he's just trying to catch a glimpse of them having sex.

Do not confront your landlord. Either call the police and report what you saw, allowing them to handle it, or go to the young couple and inform them they ought to close their blinds.

Dear Annie: My daughter, "Annabelle," is single and will be 50 next month. She is the youngest of my six children, all of whom are happily married with children of their own.

While my other sons and daughters settled down quite early in life, Annabelle did not. She is a trained psychologist, loves her work and is adamant that she enjoys being single. Even though she has always had plenty of male friends, she has said she will never give up her precious freedom for any man.

I do have to admit, even as a child, Annabelle was always fiercely independent, but so were two of my sons who both now have grown children.

How can one child out of six choose to be so different? — J.

Dear J.: There are dozens of reasons why some people choose the single life, and one may be that she truly prefers her privacy and enjoys the solitude. Marriage is not for everyone and there is no crime in that. In fact, too many people marry for the wrong reasons and are worse off for it. If Annabelle is happy, please try to be happy for her.

Dear Annie: Awhile ago, you printed a letter from "Dying of Loneliness in Oregon," a widow who was an only child with distant relatives she had not contacted in ages.

I am a very young-looking 65-year-old widow and an only child. My husband was also an only child. My parents are dead. I have no nieces or nephews, and my aunts and uncles are all dead, except one uncle by marriage who is 97 and lives in another state.

Is there a support group for people who are all alone in the world? Living without family is the most horrible existence there is, especially when your health is not good. Friends are not the same. You still have to go home to an empty house. — Lonely in Michigan

Dear Lonely: Unless family members live with you, it's still an empty house.

If you're looking for company on a daily basis, consider moving to a retirement or over-55 living community. Aside from the welcoming communal areas, the available activities will keep you busy and allow you to meet others with similar interests. Also check out AARP (aarp.org or 1-888-OUR-AARP (1-888-687-2277)) and the Red Hat Society (redhatsociety.com). You might not be able to create more family members, but you can make a family out of your friends.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

4 Comments | Post Comment
Why in the WORLD would you advise Elderly Lady in Her 70s to tell the young couple to close their blinds? Now suppose the couple decide to confront the peeping tom and tell him that Elderly Lady has peeped him peeping them? She could be setting herself up for trouble. Elderly Lady only has two options: call the police or say nothing.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Tracy
Thu Mar 5, 2009 11:22 AM
Re: Tracy
----------I agree. Personally, I'd call the police. But if I knew the couple fairly well, I think I'd also tell them what I saw this guy do. I'd also tell them about my contacting the police and tell them the respnse I got. Let them decide whether to draw the blinds or whether they want to catch this guy in the act. If it were my window the guy was peering into and neighbors saw, I'd appreciate their telling me. I wouldn't contact the pervert myself if my neighbors told me about him looking in my window. That would be shear stupidity. The guy has already shown he has "problems;" I wouldn't give him an opportunity to show me what other problems he has.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Pat
Thu Mar 5, 2009 12:03 PM
I certainly know the feeling of the lady with no relatives. I don't have very either and it is always a struggle at the holidays to find someone to have the holiday with. Once I advertized on my church's email for someone and the former pastors wife came up to me and told me I was 'begging" for friends. I was very hurt by her hurtful comment. No I wasn't begging for friends. She has a large family with lots of kids and grandkids to celebrate with. Instead of saying I was begging, she should have opened up her heart and her home and invited me. Anyway it was just another thing to have to let go of, her stupidity. The LW should go see her 97 yr old uncle, he might like the visit. I wish I could be in contact with her and we could have the holidays together. At one time I created a website,
www.rent-a-relative. I don't know if it is still going at this time. I do know that there are a lot of people in our shoes, if we could just get together. It is the lonelilest feeling in the world to be alone at Christmas esp Christmas.
Comment: #3
Posted by:
Sat Mar 7, 2009 1:54 PM
Mad props to the Annies for their resposne to LW2! Unlike a certain columnist of the dietzy blonde persuasion who hates singles and knocks them every chance she gets, the Annies understand that you don't have to commit matrimony to be happy.

@third commenter with no name: That's the sort of hypocritical behavior that gives churches a bad name. I mean, I'm definitely no Christian but I read their Bible and there's some interesting stuff in there besides all the sex and violence. For one thing, J C Himself was reported as having hung out with tax collectors and criminals. He recommended that people who were lonely or in prison be visited, not rejected or ridiculed. Just out of curiosity, what denomination was that hoity-toity pastor's wife representing? The only religious doctrine I've ever read that encouraged people to be self-absorbed jerks was the Satanic Bible, and I'm pretty sure it was written as a satire. My kid brother takes it seriously though, and he acts a lot like that pastor's wife does. My guess is that they're marching to the same drummer.
Comment: #4
Posted by: R.A.
Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:11 AM
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