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Annie's Mailbox®, February 9 Dear Annie: My 19-year-old daughter has always argued with me about everything. I could say the sky is blue, and she would say, “No, it's azure.” When she was a child, I tried to ignore her debates and told her to just do as I say. But …Read more. Annie's Mailbox®, February 8 Dear Annie: My boyfriend, “Michael,” has been irritating me for the past month. He breaks his promises, goes back on his word, bosses me around like crazy and gets angry and aggressive about everything. He no longer seems fazed if we don'…Read more. Annie's Mailbox®, February 7 Dear Annie: My teenage stepdaughter recently moved in with us. Due to her supposed learning disability, her father enrolled her in the local learning center. She went once and hasn't been back. She refuses to attend school, do chores or get a job. …Read more. Annie's Mailbox®, February 6 Dear Annie: My blood is still boiling from the letter from “Sex Therapist,” who said men look at porn because women don't take care of their sexual needs. What a bunch of horse manure. I work full time. After work, I pick up and shuttle …Read more.
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Annie's Mailbox®, May 13

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 30 years. We love each other madly. We worked in the same office for 15 years and retired at the same time, so we see each other constantly and almost exclusively as, by choice, we have few friends.

My wife has always had mood swings. She becomes very sensitive to the slightest perceived criticism, withdrawing into a chilling silence. In the past, this might happen once a year and last for a day. Then all is forgiven and life returns to normal. I don't think she's clinically depressed, although depression runs in her family. She's not suicidal or anything. She just freezes me out of her life, which I find extremely painful, especially since she's never willing to talk about it.

Now that she's in her mid-60s, these episodes occur more frequently and with greater severity. On a recent vacation, I remarked that the merchandise at a touristy shop was not a very good value. She took this personally and stormed out. Her anger passed over the next few days, but I felt I had to handle her with kid gloves for the rest of the trip.

Is this normal aging? I'm living on pins and needles. How can I help her and restore our relationship? — Anxious Husband

Dear Husband: This is not normal aging. One doesn't have to be suicidal to be depressed, and your wife's family history might predispose her to work through her emotions in an unproductive manner. It will take some effort (and possibly medication) for her to control her moods. But first she must recognize that there is a problem. Tell her you would like to see a counselor for help with some difficulties you are having, and ask her to come with so you can work on them together.

Dear Annie: Love your column usually, but I want to say this about your reply to "Wanting Him," who met her boyfriend online and doesn't know how to tell her parents.

You said, "We trust it isn't a chat room for, say, vampires."

I met the girl of my dreams online. She is now my fiancee and we intend to be married in October. We are both writers and met on an Internet vampire discussion list. She is the smartest, sweetest, most wonderful woman who ever walked this planet. I'm a fairly normal guy myself — usually. So please be more careful about where you say it's OK to meet someone. — V

Dear V: We were surprised at the number of vampire fans who wrote to us. It almost made us pull out the garlic necklaces. All joking aside, we were not casting aspersions on those who utilize vampire chat rooms. We know the subject matter can be interesting and most members are not going to bite you on the neck. We were simply making the point that it might be harder to introduce a boyfriend to the parents if you met in a chat room that the folks would consider unusual or questionable, and we still believe this is true. Here's one more clobber from the dark side:

Dear Annie: I am a member of an Internet mailing list for discussion of vampire fact, folklore and fiction. Our members include everyone from the casual fiction reader all the way to college-level literature professors, all of whom are intelligent, educated and wonderful friends. It was through this Internet list that I met my husband, to whom I have now been married for over 10 years.

I know the dangerous and even illegal things that some people are willing to do to impersonate vampires. However, the public needs to open its eyes and realize that the subject matter itself is NOT the culprit. As with anything else, there is a right and a wrong way to go about meeting someone online, just as there are right and wrong reasons to be interested in vampires. — Drac of the Sharp Smiles

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.



Comments

5 Comments | Post Comment

I'm thinking maybe you two need to spend a little time apart. It sounds as though you spend every second together. you worked together for the last 15 years but I doubt you were side by side. Now you retired together and the constant togetherness is driving her crazy. Even people who love each other *madly* need breathing room. Her previous once a year freeze out is hardly a mood swing. Her moodiness now is as I pointed out in the beginning. As for the tourist shop. Maybe she was truly wanting to buy something and your *pointing out* that the items were of low quality was your way of telling her that you're to cheap and she doesn't need or deserve to spend money on herself. I would have taken that as criticism too.

Comment: #1
Posted by: cathy
Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:34 AM

"Anxious husband" has a wife who appears to be manipulative in her passive/aggressive behavior of "freezing him out" when she doesn't like something he does or says. No one should have to be on 'pins and needles' trying not to upset their "other half" all the time. They need to get to the bottom of this or their 'sunset years' will be hell on earth.

Comment: #2
Posted by: COOKINFOOL
Thu May 15, 2008 6:40 AM

I READ THE ARTICLE ABOUT THE LADY HOW SAID THAT SHE WAS GOING TO HOLLAND AND HIS FAMILY WAS ALWAYS WEARING NO CLOTH AT ANY TIME. WEL THAT IS NOT HOW DUTCH PEOPLE ARE, THIS MUCH BE A REAR FAMILY, I;M FROM HOLLAND AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY DO THAT. IF SHE DOSE NOT LIKE IT, THAN DOINT GO. STAY HERE AND TELL HER MAN SHE WANTS NO PART OF THIS.

Comment: #3
Posted by: TINI
Tue May 13, 2008 1:25 PM

Dear Annie, I read your advice about Cancer support groups and just had to write. I lost my beloved younger sister to cancer last year. She fought it and won the first 2 battles but lost the 3rd. During the entire 10 years she was phenominal. She started a support group because doctors were "fantastic medically" but useless about other things cancer-related. Where to buy (or donate) wigs, what to do when chemo makes you constipated, someone to commiserate with you, you name it, she'd help you. When she knew she had only 3 or 4 days to go, the doctors kept trying to make her rest. They finally gave up and allowed her to have a "party" to say good bye to friends. 60 people flew in from 4 countries to attend with just 48 hours notice. Some of whom she had never met. She was exhausted, but said if the party made her live 2 weeks less, it was still worth it. Baldy's Brother.

Comment: #4
Posted by: Daniel Windsor
Wed Feb 3, 2010 8:54 PM

Regarding DNS proof of paternity - We had a similar case in our family. But I said no to DNA tests. I said the boy may not be your real son but he is our son now. That was 40 years ago. He is still our son and we love him. Shirley in Indiana

Comment: #5
Posted by: Shirley Willard
Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:40 PM
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