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Annie's Mailbox®, May 8

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Dear Annie: I am deeply involved with a wonderful man. I was charmed by the fact that "Arnie" remained undressed until it was time to leave the house. I soon joined him and enjoyed eating breakfast in the buff.

Arnie is Dutch and was raised in a house where nudity was the norm. His parents and siblings all slept in the nude, soaked in the family hot tub together and visited nude beaches.

We are planning a trip to Europe to do some touring and visit Arnie's family. It will include nude hot-tubbing and beaches. Arnie assures me I can wear a bathing suit, but I will be self-conscious if I'm the only clothed person. But I'm not sure I'm ready to be naked in a group.

Also, we'd both like to have children, but he wants to raise them as he was raised and I am not so sure. Nudity didn't harm Arnie, but is it OK for the kids? Arnie can't understand why Americans are so hung up about this. He believes nudity is healthier, more comfortable and leads to higher self-esteem.

Should I do as the Europeans do when we visit his family? Should we raise our children to be nudists? Should I break it off because I am uncomfortable? — Chevy Chase, Md.

Dear Chevy Chase: This is a very personal choice. When it comes to raising children, it generally is best to be able to cover up when necessary by keeping robes handy. It becomes a bigger issue when the kids have friends over or when they reach puberty and are uncomfortably aware of their parents' bodies. But take one thing at a time. For your upcoming visit, try the "when in Rome" approach and see how you feel about it. Bring a swimsuit just in case.

Dear Annie: My wife and I are expecting our first child, a boy, and she would like to name him after me (for which I am truly honored).

However, we both abhor the idea of "Jr." Is it proper to use the Roman numeral "II" instead? I know strict etiquette demands it be used only for a child who bears the name of a family member other than the father (i.e., grandfather), but I've been told it is more socially acceptable now.

What do you say? — Happy Father-to-Be in Sunny Florida

Dear Happy Father-to-Be: It still isn't exactly cricket to use a "2" in any form if your child is named after you, although what is acceptable to you and your wife is what matters, and frankly, most people won't notice or care. Of course, the baby only becomes "Junior" if he has your first, middle and last names. If you change his middle name, he no longer uses any suffix at all.

Dear Annie: Since there has been discussion in your column about bipolar illness, I would like to share what I have learned, being bipolar all my life.

I've been married five times, tried to kill myself five times and had to file for bankruptcy about 10 years ago. When I was on highs, I would buy things and have inappropriate relationships with men. I went through countless jobs because I quit or did unprofessional things. I had no impulse control. I refused to take medication because the side effects were hair loss, shaky hands and weight gain.

Luckily, after my fourth visit to a psychiatric ward, I got serious about my life. I found a wonderful psychiatrist, and now I take the correct medication. I want to tell other bipolar people to try again on the medication. There are new ones all the time. I feel like a different person, without all the anxiety and highs and lows. And I know I need to take the medication for the rest of my life. And that is OK. — Brighter Now in San Bernardino

Dear Brighter Now: Congratulations on being motivated enough to get help, and bless you for encouraging others.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

3 Comments | Post Comment
In reply to the gal with Bipolar, Our family has been touched with this illness, there is hope, Like any other illness, there are meds to help, every one needs to see a Dr. and continue on with therepy, and medical help, you can lead a normal or near normal life, but you have to get help. There are many new meds that do not have all the side effects, and a few side effects are better then the other things that go along with the Bipolar illness. Read all you can about the illness, and we need to spread the word about mental illness, not condem those who have it.. Mental Illness is like any other illness, get help, take meds, and take control of your life . You are not alone. love and prayers to all with this harsh factor in life.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Dawn
Thu May 8, 2008 8:15 AM
I believe that you have to get a better look at the people that are in the Nudist Community, There are Doctors, Lawyers, Educators, Law Enforcement, Factor workers, retirees, newborns, toddlers, Childs and Teens Families and everyday people, The state you have listed in your article has 4 Resorts there and 1 Travel club You are also close to PawPaw WV. They have a great place. You should really go to www.aanr.com this is a Nudist Recreation FAMILY website, There are many awesome places that you can go visit and talk to the members and their CHILDREN about Nude Resorts. My Favorite would happen to be Cypress Cove in Kissimee Florida. Also the beaches in Florida have a lot to offer. You can get used to the idea where you don't know anyone, And if you start your children out where they are used to this they will learn to except people for who they are not what they are or what they wear. The AANR has a teen group they is interesting. And believe it or not when we go we have met other couples from Toledo that we awesome friends with. And over the many years that we have gone there we have met and made lasting friendships where are child text and e mail and keep in touch, I think the writers of " Annie's Box" should look into this website also or even visit a place they might be very surprised, Because Nudity is a beautiful thing not something to be ashamed of.
Comment: #2
Posted by: In Toledo
Thu May 8, 2008 10:03 PM
LW1 - I agree you should take a look online and do some research on nudity and nude recreation. It does indeed include families with kids and people from all walks of life and all body types, and both genders. You would be surprised at how non-sexual it is, and how well children take to it. We had a couple with a 10 year old daughter visit us once, and we brought them to a nude resort (the parents had done it but it was the daughter's first time, ever). The only thing we told her was we were going to a place where not wearing clothes was allowable. She took to it like a duck to water, stripping off almost immediately, having a great time swimming in the pool, and even making a couple of friends her age in the process.
The Annies are essentially correct with their advice, in that they should keep robes around the house handy for covering up when needed. Also, it's not hard to teach kids that they need to wear clothes in front of guests (though if the guests themselves are nudists, they can tell the kids it's ok to get naked if they want to).
I will also tell you from my personal experience, that the kids are generally better behaved at nude resorts than at conventional beaches or playgrounds. I've never once seen any kid cry or fight or get into trouble or do anything bad at such places.
As for yourself...you will be very surprised at how quickly your personal inhibitions go away when you see everyone having innocent fun with absolutely no difference in any other gathering except for being unclothed. I can guarantee that nobody there is going to have a perfect body, nor will anyone make fun of your body, and I can also guarantee there will be no unwanted sexual advances and no snide remarks about anything, and nobody will be doing anything sexual in front of you at all. That type of thing simply almost never happens at nude resorts, despite what you might think. But nevertheless, nude resorts usually have very strict policies and are very good at dealing with the occasional rare occurrence.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Paul W
Mon Nov 29, 2010 2:25 PM
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