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Annie's Mailbox®, March 10

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Dear Annie: I'm an 18-year-old girl who is smart, funny, cute and kind. The problem? I've never had a boyfriend or a date until now. I'm the oldest child in my family, so I'm kind of new to the whole thing.

I met "Jacob" and we hit it off right away. We met face-to-face two weeks ago. Jacob is nice, quiet and only a year older than I am. I'd like my parents to meet Jacob, as kind of a reassurance thing, but I don't know how to tell them that we met online. I know they are going to ask and I don't want to lie, but they aren't crazy about the idea of meeting people by computer because of all the horror stories you hear. Is there a way to bring it up without them going completely nuts? — Wanting Him

Dear Wanting: Your parents should indeed meet Jacob, and the sooner, the better. Tell them about the new man in your life, and when they ask how you met, show them the site and let them see for themselves what's there. It might be more acceptable than they expect. (We trust it isn't a chat room for, say, vampires.) Either way, explain that you want them to get to know Jacob and hope they will give him a chance. We're betting they will. And if they like him, how you met will become irrelevant.

Dear Annie: My husband is a medic serving in Iraq. I recently got a call from his 69-year-old mother letting me know she had been to the doctor with a bladder infection and a few more minor things. She didn't say whether the doctors thought it was cause for major concern.

She told me not to tell my husband because she doesn't want him to worry. Do I respect her wishes and not say anything? His parents are country folk who don't understand a lot of medical jargon, and my husband is usually able to explain things to them. I think he'd want to know. He's not a worrier, especially about illness. What should I do? — Army Wife in the Know

Dear Army Wife: Say nothing to your husband for the moment.

Mom needs to know she can trust you. Her problems seem manageable, especially since she is under the care of a physician. However, please encourage her to tell her son. Explain that he would want to know and that his medical knowledge will be helpful. In the meantime, keep tabs on her health and make it clear that if things worsen, her son will need to be informed.

Dear Annie: Yesterday, I received a recorded phone message from a candidate who wanted my vote. I am on the National Do Not Call Registry. I realize that political candidates are not legally obligated to honor the list, but if this candidate cannot respect the preferences of his or her constituents in such a simple matter, how can that person represent our preferences if elected? I will not vote for this candidate. — Mississippi Voter

Dear Mississippi: We hope you phoned the candidate's campaign headquarters and explained why he or she was not getting your vote. But you might want to reconsider. According to the Federal Trade Commission, calls from political organizations, charities and telephone surveyors are still permitted, as are calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship — that means any company from which you've purchased something or have called to request information. Political solicitations are not considered telemarketing and are exempt, so we doubt they even bother to look at the lists. In fact, we're surprised you only received calls from one candidate.

By the way, although registration was set to expire after five years, the FTC now plans to make the Registry permanent. Those who want more information, or who want to add their phone numbers, can call 1-888-382-1222 or go online to donotcall.gov.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

4 Comments | Post Comment
I would like to make two suggestions for an article in your column.

1. That polititians remove themselves from the Do Not Call exemption, or be forced make their calls live by a person in their campaign headquarters. That way a person would have a way to say they do not vote for that party or individual.

2. That the rules of "existing business relationship" are changed. If I go into a business or respond to a mailing once, and then decide I am not interested or they don't have the product I need, I am then often contacted indefinitely. The worst case I have had is a professional organization that would not stop mailing things to me three years after I left the profession. This was with repeated attempts to get them to stop.
I have stopped donating to charities I am actually interested in because if you donate once, they never let up. Plus, they let similiar organizations know you are a potential donor. If charities see their resources are down, this may be the reason why.
Once a consumer lets a company know that they are no longer interested in a business, that should be enough to stop contact. It is irresponsible in this age of identity theft to continue to send out publications, business offers, etc if the consumer no longer wants them.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Peggy
Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:07 AM
"We trust it isn't a chat room for, say, vampires"
I am offended. Some of my favorite people in all of the world I met via a chat room for vampires. They are kind, gentle, and loving. They are erudite and funny. They are excellent writers and great conversationalists. Some are university professors. Others are librarians, college administrators, members of the military, and government officials. Many are parents. Your implication that people who are interested in vampires are somehow dangerous is unwarranted and a vile sterotype. I trust that the girl who wrote to you isn't in a chat room for egotistical advice columnists.
Richard Kitchen
Citrus Heights, California
Comment: #2
Posted by: corvus13
Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:49 PM
I received a mailer from a candidate in my party which gave information about his opponent I found aimed to stir up fears about a Pakistani Anti-Defamation league donating campaign funds. I had the campaign's email address (not included online or in their mailer) and emailed my feelings. They sent an apology and said that they would let the powers that be know my feelings. Although the statement was true and came from our local newspaper, that wasn't why it was included. It was to bring up fears of terrorists.
We have to follow up on things that disturb us in a calm, considerate way.
We are on the no call list. I hang up on recorded calls if it is a message I don't want to hear.
As for donating to a charity, they send those mailings because it has been proven they will receive more donations if they ask, ask, ask, ask. I deal with charities that don't pass your name on because they need the money desperately for themselves and where there a few administration fees because most of those involved are volunteers.
Comment: #3
Posted by: BB
Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:15 AM
As a teenager, over ten years ago now, I was lucky enough to get hold of Web access long before it was commonplace to do so. I had, and still have, a strong interest in Gothic horror, penny-dreadfuls and so forth. A fascination with the mythical is hardly rare, at that. I imagine you know where I'm going on this one: yes, I was on a chat room "for vampires", as well as a chat room for software development. In all honesty, those individuals (mainly professional scholars) with whom I shared a serious academic interest in mythology turned out to be by far saner, stabler and more interesting than the software developers, and I count myself very lucky to have had that experience.

If I were giving advice to kids based on my real-life experience in this area it'd be: kids, it's not always easy to explain your interests to your parents, but it's worth having a try. While "we trust it isn't a chat room for, say, vampires" probably does mirror the average parent's gut reaction, it's precisely that sort of attitude that causes kids to get secretive about what they are doing, which has obvious potential for danger.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Em
Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:52 PM
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