Annie's Mailbox® by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: After 40 years of marriage, my sister's husband kicked her out with nothing but the clothes on her back. "Peggy" is an alcoholic and a heavy smoker who doesn't care what she looks or smells like. She lost her driving privileges years ago for multiple DWI convictions. She doesn't have a job.

When Peggy became homeless, she came home to her family — two sisters and a few nieces and nephews. She said she needed a place for a couple of weeks, but it's turned into 11 months. She goes from one of our homes to another, sleeping on sofas.

All those years when Peggy was ruining her life with alcohol abuse, my other sister and I were working and making our lives better. We have finally retired and want to relax and do things we couldn't get around to before. Now here comes Peggy who refuses to get a job, so we have to support her while she sits around all day watching TV and opens up a smart mouth if you say anything about it. We need our lives back. Please help. — Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: There's no incentive for Peggy to get a job or contribute to the household if she can live with you, free of rent and responsibility. We know you care about her, but she is an alcoholic, and your family is enabling her to continue. Please contact Al-Anon (al-anon-alateen.org) at 1-888-4-AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) and find out when and where the next meeting will take place. All the family members should attend.

Dear Annie: Recently, I was discussing baby names with my new sister-in-law, "Amber." I told her I've always dreamed of naming a little boy "Alex." It's the name of my late paternal grandfather, and I also love the way it sounds.

A week later, Amber announced she was pregnant and said if it's a boy, she wants to name him Alex. I reluctantly agreed that, since my brother was the only one carrying on the family name, they could use Alex.

Unfortunately, the more I think about it, the more upset I get. My boyfriend and I do plan on getting married, and he, too, likes the name "Alex." I talked to my brother and told him that despite what I originally said, I am still having a hard time with it. It has been suggested that we both use the name, but I really like the idea of having a name that isn't shared by other family members.

I am thrilled that my brother and Amber are having a baby, but I can't get past the name issue. I've dreamed about having a child with this name. Should I tell them again how upset I am? Am I being irrational? — What's in a Name?

Dear What's: While it would have been nice for Amber to choose another name, the fact remains that you don't have a monopoly on this one. You were gracious to tell your brother it was OK with you. Please don't create hard feelings now. If you still want to call your child "Alex," by all means, do so. Many cousins share a name. But we hope you will be open to other possibilities.

Dear Annie: I'm 22 years old and a very attractive young lady. I find that when most guys take me out, they pay the bill for the evening. On occasions where I pay for myself, it is awkward.

I always thought the person who asks for the date should be the one to fork over for the bill. Am I correct? — Need the Answer in Pennsylvania

Dear Pennsylvania: On a first date, the person who asks should also pay. For future dates, however, it's not unusual to split the costs. As the woman, you should offer to do so (and be sure you have enough money with you), but don't create a fuss by fighting over the check. It's also OK to treat your date once in a while.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.