Annie's Mailbox® by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: "Not Harold and Maude" wanted to hear from readers who are involved with younger men.

My husband is 18 years younger, and we've been married 15 years. My family had a little heartburn over it until they realized our commitment was genuine. My two adult children were skeptical, but came around when they realized he had my best interests at heart. His family members all have ghosts in their own closets and are generally nonjudgmental. Sometimes when I worry over a new wrinkle, he'll say, "Honey, I could do younger, but I could never do better." — Not Maude

Dear Not: Very sweet. We heard from many "cougars" and the men they married. Read on:

From Sarasota, Fla.: My wife is 20 years older, and we've been married for 37 years. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Arizona: My husband is 15 years younger. My kids have been supportive, and to tell you the truth, most people don't realize he's that much younger.

South Dakota: I spent 10 years with a man 15 years my junior. When I needed open heart surgery, he didn't want to take care of me. I've enjoyed good health since, but he developed prostate problems. When he found a younger woman and got her pregnant, I divorced him. Oh, and he totally ruined me financially.

New York: I am 72 and have been told I look 60. My husband is 51 and looks 10 years older. When we married 22 years ago, his mother cried and his 5-year-old daughter hated me. It wasn't easy, but we discussed these problems and were prepared. My best friend told me he would probably only stay with me five years. I replied, "It will be worth it."

Boston: My maternal grandparents married in 1912. The scandal was huge and included great-aunts fainting all over the place. She was 40 and he was 28. From all accounts, they were perfectly suited and lived a happy life. Go for it. Gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

Washington: My husband and I met when he was 20 and I was 46.

Alberta, Canada: My sister-in-law just married the man of her dreams, and he treats her like gold. Both families love them dearly and don't care that she is 11 years older.

Manhattan: I have been involved with a man 28 years my junior for almost a year. We met on a dating site catering specifically to older women and younger men. His parents don't know about me, and we're certain I would never be accepted. This is the most satisfying relationship I've ever had, but the age difference is staggering. He graduates from college next year, and we'll see what happens then.

Texas: My husband is 22 years younger, and we've been together for 12 years. The only time our age difference becomes awkward is when the conversation pertains to events that happened before his time. My older son was apprehensive when I announced our engagement, but he has come around.

Louisiana: I'm 51. My husband is 30. His parents never cared about the age difference. What matters to them is that their son is happy.

Kentucky: I, too, was a 50-something when I became friends with my neighbor, 17 years my junior. We celebrated our fifth anniversary last November, and I had nothing but support from my family and friends once they got used to the idea and saw how much we cared for each other.

Chicago: My two grown sons, ages 31 and 35, are both in successful long-term relationships with older women. While I had to readjust my thinking about having biological grandchildren, I am proud that both sons play active roles in the lives of their partners' children, and I make an effort to do the same.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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