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Equal Parts Heart Over Equal Parts Money
Dear Annie: My husband and I work comparable hours, but I earn less than half of what he does and have little discretionary income. I come home to my "second shift," which includes cooking, cleaning and picking up after this man, who …Read more.
Valentine's Day Sex Therapy
Dear Readers: Happy Valentine's Day to one and all, along with our special good wishes to the veterans in VA hospitals around the country. And our particular thanks to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines, visit the vets and …Read more.
Too Much Power in an Ex
Dear Annie: "Ron" and I have been living together for more than a year. I love him and believe he loves me. We are both in our 60s and retired.
Ron is good to me in all but one way: He can't seem to cut off contact with his old girlfriend. …Read more.
Wannabe Doc Has No Time for Mom and Dad
Dear Annie: Our 22-year-old son is in college. He lives at home, and we pay all his expenses, which is fine with us. He was never particularly interested in school until his last year of high school. Now he's doing really well.
The problem is, he …Read more.
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Annie's Mailbox®, June 22Dear Annie: I need to know how to deal with my husband's loss of emotion. He is in his late 50s, and I am in my mid-40s. He used to hold my hand in the car and spontaneously grab me to dance when the stereo was on. He'd kiss me on the neck while I was working in the kitchen. But not anymore. He doesn't even let me cuddle up to him when we're watching a movie. And it's more than that. He doesn't get excited about seeing the grandkids. He is blase about family gatherings and vacation trips. I would suspect he was depressed, but he still enjoys playing his computer games and watching sports on TV, and he keeps up his household chores. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said men aren't supposed to show emotion and he's just getting old. When I suggested counseling, he flat-out refused. He told me, "Go ahead on your own if you need to waste money." I feel emotionally divorced. He won't discuss it. Do you have any suggestions on how to motivate him or maybe slam him with a dose of reality so he can see how much this affects me? Could I have done something to cause this? — Emotional Roommate Dear Roommate: Not likely. Your husband may be depressed in spite of the computer games and TV. He also may fear aging and becoming less physically capable, and by shutting down his response to you, he may have shut down a lot of other things, as well. You can't force him to get counseling, but you might recommend he get a complete physical and alert his doctor to the problem in advance. Dear Annie: "Becky" and I have been friends since high school. We both have young children now, and they are usually the topic of our conversations. The problem is, Becky constantly points out things about my children in a negative way. My 9-year-old daughter loves history, science and biography, and noticing her extensive nonfiction library, Becky said, "She doesn't have much of an imagination." When our children were playing together, my younger daughter tripped and fell, and Becky casually remarked, "She's awfully clumsy, isn't she?" I defend my children when she says these thoughtless things, but it doesn't matter.
Dear Omaha: We think she's being competitive. The fact that these comments are also inconsiderate is incidental. Becky points out your children's flaws in order to make her kids seem superior. It's a sign of insecurity, and it isn't going to stop until she recognizes what she is doing. The next time it happens, tell her you are sorry she feels the need to belittle your children and you'd like her to stop. Dear Annie: The letter from "Heartbroken in N.C." could have been written by me. Several years ago, my daughter-in-law decided we didn't see eye to eye and terminated their relationship with me. I blame my son for letting it happen. I suffered a heart attack and flatlined twice. My son was notified and still did not contact me. After spending countless days crying, I decided enough was enough. I went to a craft sale and met some ladies who invited me to join a nonprofit organization. Then I joined several other organizations and began volunteering with hospice. I have been going strong for seven years. Tell "Heartbroken" that it's time for her to get involved in something that interests her. Four years ago, my son reconnected with me. We rebuilt our relationship, and his wife stays away, which is a blessing. I have since found out she is bipolar and has other mental health issues. — What Goes Around Dear W.G.A.: It must have been difficult for you to cope with the estrangement, but you managed to make a fulfilling life for yourself. And as a bonus, you now have a relationship with your son again. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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