Butting Heads at Work Dear Annie: My co-worker, "Carl," has been at his job for 8 years. I've been here for 10. We've never been friends, but that hasn't really mattered until now. Recently, Carl and I were put together on a team. It turns out, he is one of the most …Read more. Mistress Rears Her Ugly Head Dear Annie: After 21 years of marriage, my husband was enticed by a divorced woman and engaged in an affair. She made it very easy for him and was constantly emailing, texting and calling. This woman knew me and my family, and that we were happy, …Read more. Supporting Daughter's Sexuality Dear Annie: My 12-year-old daughter confessed to me this evening that she believes she is bisexual. She was quite upset about a comment made by another girl today. I immediately comforted her and explained that I love her, no holds barred. She will …Read more. Happy Thanksgiving! Dear Readers: Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! We hope you are fortunate enough to be spending the holiday with family and friends, and that you will remember those who are alone and would love to be included with your family. Our special thanks …Read more.more articles
A Son Is a Son Until He Takes a Wife
Dear Annie: I am a junior in high school. I have been with my wonderful girlfriend, "Maria," since our freshman year. Her parents won't let her officially date until she is 16, which will be soon.
Last year, at her 15th birthday party, I gave Maria a ticket to a formal dance. She was flattered, but her dad got angry, questioned me about my intentions and asked why I didn't first get his permission to take her.
I apologized and said I thought you only had to ask the father about marriage. Now when I see him, he refuses to shake my hand and acts insulted. Worse, because he won't let Maria date, I only spend time with her at school. And if I go to a party without her, she gets mad.
I don't think I have done anything wrong. Is there anything I can do to bring her dad around and possibly be able to take Maria out? — Lovesick Teen
Dear Teen: If Maria cannot date until she is 16, you will gain more points with Dad if you respect that and stop pushing his boundaries. See her at school until her birthday. Then talk to her father and ask if you can take Maria out, preferably with a group of friends. Dad needs to feel that his little girl is safe with you. See that she is.
Dear Annie: When I was pregnant with my second son, my mother and others said it was "too bad" because girls stay close to their families and boys don't.
My boys are now 6 and 9, and I think of those comments every day. I have a very loving home, and I kiss my kids all the time and tell them I love them and am proud of them. We have dinners at home, and my husband and I talk to them about their lives and keep on top of schooling, friends, etc. Right now, they are sweet, affectionate kids, but I'm so worried that they will disappear when they grow older and marry.
I have a co-worker who never sees her son and knows little about his daily life.
Dear Michigan: The old adage, "A son is a son until he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life," has some basis in fact. Girls identify with their mothers, and since women tend to maintain the social structure of the home, their family preferences win out. We recommend you maintain an open and honest relationship with your boys, and when they are teens, it's OK to tell them you hope they will stay close even after they marry. And then make friends with their wives and treat them with respect. Those women need to know you accept them without judging and will love them as if they were your own.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Help, Please," and was impressed by how much this family is trying to do for their elderly parents. Here are a few suggestions:
They can contact the local agency on aging or senior center for advice and assistance. Many states have a 211 resource and referral hotline. Local hospitals usually have a social services office that could advise them. The parents' primary care doctor can make a referral to a visiting nurse agency to assess their home-care needs and safety. They may qualify for home care services through their Medicare insurance.
Finally, if the family fears that the parents are unable to make safe decisions and are at risk of harm, they may need to call Adult Protective Services. — MSW
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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